Becoming an expert on “me”: Selfish or Self Care?

Becoming an expert on “me”: Selfish or Self Care?

Not sure if you read my recent post “Lumps, Bumps and Things that Go Cancer in the Night”. Within the post I stated “… I did not intend to ever become an “expert” on cancer and the side effects of treatment. I still don’t want to but I do need to become an expert on ME!…”

At first when I wrote that I had a brief moment where I thought that it may come across as selfish, but I will maintain that it is NOT! It is a good first step in self care. I do not claim to be an expert on anything but am a licensed professional (Licensed Massage Therapist) and I have gained a lot of knowledge and experience while working as an LMT over the years. I have learned a lot about the products and services I offer, often because I not only offer them but because I use them myself. I suggest self care and I practice it as well.

I have made it my personal and professional mission to become knowledgeable about my clients and an expert on myself. And now, I want to encourage you to become and expert on yourself as well!

Because pain is subjective, I have come to realize that just because I am not in pain it does not mean I have not overdone it or that I am not hurting. This applies on a daily basis to how I feel physically, my state of mind, and it even applies to stressful situations both personally and professionally.

I pride myself in being able to read others. This is an important part of being an LMT actually. As I listen to my clients when they book an appointment and/or prior to the session, I have to listen and HEAR what they are saying. What hurts, what they want and need from the session, what their wellness goals are, what kind of pressure do they want (they asked for deep tissue, but is it appropriate?)?

I am also thinking about how they walked in, how they sat down… when they point to the sore spot, can they do it with ease? I assess by listening and seeing and when they are on the table by what I feel.  Furthermore, I listen to their breathing and watch and listen for other queues.

I have learned that I am expert enough in my profession to be comfortable enough to professionally decline to provide a technique or service based on what I hear and what I see. Their pre-conceived notions of what massage is and what it can or cannot do, as well as what they do not tell me, are things I have to take in and process in order to provide a session that is the best, safest and most likely to meet their goals. I also have to be sure that I do not hurt myself in the process. I cannot wreck myself in the first fifteen minutes of the session and be useless and ineffective the remainder of the session or the remainder of the day.

By reading my clients I actually do kind of become an expert on each and every one of them! This can also include knowing if they like flannels sheets or not. Music or sound machine? Footwork or no footwork? Simple things and not so simple things.

So, I believe that if I ask people to share with me their health and wellness goals and what they want and need from a session, I should be able to recognize what I want and need as I work on mine. This will help me to listen and to hear even better what my clients are saying. Just as importantly it can help me to come up with better ways to ask the right questions and pick up on other queues I may have missed so I can be sure that they are comfortable and capable of sharing information for their comfort and safety.

As far as my relationships, I feel that the better I know myself, the better I can allow people know me. By becoming an expert on myself I can further recognize and work on my strengths and improve upon my weaknesses. If I cannot read myself, can I really expect other to read me? I am starting to compile a list of things to ask myself so I can get to know myself and be true to me.  I strongly encourage you to become an expert on yourself! Try the questions out for yourself. Even better, please add questions to the list and SHARE. I cannot wait to see what you suggest!

1) Is this situation comfortable for me ________ (today, at this time, in my life)?

2) Am I tired or am I ________ (over booked, stressed, committed)?

3) Is this a good time for me to ________ (share my thoughts, play a board game, address a situation, etc.)?

4) My ________ (back, head, etc.) aches. So, is my adrenaline mixing signals? Maybe I am in some pain and I should ________ (have positive rest, water, call it a day, etc.)?

5) ________ has been bother me for a while, I know this is not typical for ME. Do NOT believe everything Google, WebMD, your doctor (a.k.a. Sick Care Advocates 😉 ), etc. has to say. Speak up and look for answers!

6) Are you breaking your own rules?

Ok, maybe you were expecting at least 2x the questions, but hey, I am just starting this 😉 What have you got?

Yours in Health and Wellness,

Dawn Grossi, LMT